Body Image

  I have fat thighs, big butt, my legs and stomach are all flabby…. Should I continue? Because I know I could keep going for a while. I was nice and smooth at least when I was 375 pounds. Now, I’m wrinkly!  I knew this would happen after losing weight but it doesn’t make me feel smaller, just different. I don’t feel sexy or attractive, just deflated. I still walk around things like I am carrying that 155 pounds I lost. I am afraid I can’t fit through chairs between tables in a restaurant. I worry I might break a seat when I sit down. Trying on clothes was my biggest fear. I would find one shirt that covered me and buy 4 in different colors. Just so I would not have to try on anymore styles. Now, I still reach for the largest size on the rack and have to make several trips back to find the smaller one that actually fits. My appearance in the mirror TO ME has honestly not changed much. My body image SUCKS! I am not alone though.
  “Some specialists use the term “phantom fat” to refer to this phenomenon of feeling fat and unacceptable after weight loss. “People who were formerly overweight often still carry that internal image, perception, with them,” says Elayne Daniels, a psychologist in Canton, Mass., who specializes in body-image issues. “They literally feel as if they’re in a large body still.” According to the NBC News article ‘Phantom fat’ can linger after weight loss By Jacqueline Stenson.
  I still obsess over how I think I appear to other people. I seriously had surgery because of health concerns and the thought of being little and cute was just a bonus. However, it has not turned out quite like I planned. I am now worried about being out of proportion. My boobs shrinking and hanging! I had accepted being a fat person the rest of my life but go and lose weight only to become fixated on those last 70 pounds that I can’t seem to drop for ANYTHING! GRRR! I still avoid eye contact with most of the world. Afraid they will see inside and see the fat chick caged in a shrinking body. I used to joke that I was a skinny chick trapped in a fat body but never had the self-esteem and confidence to back it up! I just pretended really well.  Now, I still feel like the elephant in the room! Like everyone is staring but not really looking at me.
  “Your body image, or your sense of what you look like, isn’t just a reflection of what you see in the mirror. It’s partly based on the opinions and value judgments of others: your loved ones, your peers, the media and the culture in general. The celebrities we admire for their beauty and thinness often become the ultimate representation of what we want to look like. When we don’t measure up to an airbrushed photo of a model or movie star, our body image may suffer. For teenage girls and young women, who are especially sensitive to their looks and the way they appear to others, a poor body image may quickly lead to an eating disorder, especially if the girl is overweight.” According to Futures, a treatment facility for addiction and co-occurring disorders like eating disorders.
  What does this have to do with weight loss? Well, think about it…. We live in a society where even super models are airbrushed on magazine covers! As children we are programmed to look a certain way to feel accepted. That if we are not cut from the same cookie cutter as the rest of the group we should do whatever it takes to change that and blend in. Eating disorders after Bariatric surgery is actually not uncommon.  The Bypassed Life website states A “2008 study also found a statistically significant increase in the number of eating disorders among candidates for surgical weight loss. 18.5% of patients referred for weight loss surgery met the diagnostic criteria for an eating disorder, compared with 4.3% of non-surgical weight loss patients.” They also listed out the different types of disorders. “There’s scale obsession, rumination (chewing, then spitting out food without swallowing), licking food, anorexia nervosa, and bulimia nervosa. It’s all there on the boards. It’s sort of a dirty little secret of the bariatric community. (Man, we have a lot of those!)”
  Now, I know I struggle with my body image but have done a great job (in my opinion) of eating healthy and working on the portions. But, there are days where the idea of putting anything in my mouth is the last thing I want to do! I also go through phases where I just want to work out until I drop. Sometimes it’s because of the hormone rush I get after a strenuous work out that I crave and other times it is just the negative self-image issues I have kicking in and making me want to fit into the societal mold so badly that I would rather die on the treadmill then spend one more minute in my own skin. I have an internal battle raging inside between the fat chick that was and the skinny one dying to get out. I am kind of stuck in the middle at the moment. But, I am secretly cheering on the healthy lady sitting back quietly waiting for the dust to settle so she can stand up and be seen. I will just have to let you know how it goes….

Eating Out and Surviving the Trip!

  So, I knew eating out would be a hassle after my RNY surgery,  heck healthy eating in general is a pain in our fast food world even before adding in a crazy dietary restriction.  But, I have been working on a list to make it easier on my friends and family.  Lord knows they have been extremely patient when I have to go through the nutritional books before placing an order. And yes, I have irritated managers and workers but excuse the hell out of me if I don't want to get sick because of eating something that "appeared to be healthy".... just keep in mind, not all foods or drinks are created equal! Example: we can have the Diet Green Tea with splenda from Sonic because it is non-carbonated,  sugar free and caffeine free. However,  the Iced Green Tea at Panera, has a whopping 23 grams of sugar and 100 calories in just16 ounces!
  I will include the links to the restaurants I review here so you can make an informed choice before going in. Just click on the restaurant name and their nutritional information will be at your fingertips..... (quick note, Sorry, RaeLynn, I will try to study these for the next time we go to lunch.  Thank you for being so great! You have the patience of a saint. Hehehe.) Back to what I was saying.....having a plan before walking into a place instead of "winging it" can not only save you time but keep you from having to end your outing from getting sick! So, here are some places and foods I have tried so far on my own and did NOT have any issues with!

Panera Bread
  Classic Cafe half salad brings 80 calories, 5g fat, 2g fiber,  6g sugar and 1g protein.

Wendy's
  Small Chili contains 180 calories, 5g fat, 4g fiber, 5g sugar and 13g protein
  Side Salad has 20 calories, 0g fat, 2g fiber, 2g sugar and 1 protein add the Pomegranate Vinaigrette and you add 70 calories, 3g fat and 9g sugar.
  Sour Cream & Chive Baked Potato has 320 calories, 3.5g fat, 7g fiber, 4g sugar and 8g protein.

McAlister's Deli
Country Potato Soup (1 cup) 220 calories, 11g fat, 2g fiber, 4g sugar and 7g protein.

Pita Pit (this ends up being 3 meals for me to finish it all!)
Chicken Souvlaki on white pita, with shredded cheddar cheese, tzatiki sauce, avocado,  roasted red pepper hummas, tomatoes, red onions, green peppers, cucumbers, shredded lettuce,
It breaks down as: Calories 675, Protein38g, Fiber6g, Sugar5g, Fat15g

Olive Garden
Chicken & Gnocchi Soup (one serving)250 calories, 8g fat, 29g carbs and 16g protein.
Minestrone Soup (one serving)100 calories, 1g fat, 18g carbs and 4g protein
Garden-Fresh Salad (one serving with dressing)150 calories, 10g fat, 11g carbs and 2g protein
Roasted Parmesan Asparagus has 80 calories, 5g fat, 5g carbs and 3g protein.
Chicken Meatballs (small plate) has 260 calories 9g fat, 7g carbs and 28g protein.

  I still struggle with getting in my minimum 60 grams of Complete Proteins in daily. So, I do LOVE Smoothie King. They have the 20 oz Gladiator®  with the exact sugar content varies with fruit choice. But, I always choose the double Black Cherry with the Vanilla powder. It basically gives me: 45 grams of protein in only 180 calories! The only sugar is from the fruit but I tolerate it very well, so it's my go-to fix when I am out running around.
  As you can see,  I have not been to too many places. It's difficult when you are playing the game of "what will stay in my tummy and what will come back up"..... so,  I am extremely cautious. I don't always make the absolute best choices but these were what has worked for ME so far.
  I will continue to try new things as I continue on my weightloss journey. I really want to enjoy my new body,  my new life without it having to revolve around considering calories,  fat and blah blah blah!!! It isn't something I get the luxury of saying "screw it I want a pile of deep fried onion rings today" because if i did..... it would be UGLY! I don't want to just survive,  I want to have the knowledge already in place so when I'm out with friends it's second nature on what to order. I understand there is learning curve with a whole lot of trial and error i have yet to face.  So, I promise that I will keep you posted! Goodnight! 

Health Benefits of Dark Chocolate

  The benefits of dark chocolate... no, I didn't stutter! In my hunt for higher  calorie but still healthy foods I ran across a bunch of information on dark chocolate. I LOVE dark chocolate! I can not have all the sugar in milk chocolate but I am fine with that because the slightly bitter, silky smooth dark chocolate is the stuff my dreams are made of. Hehehe
  Add my predisposition for the yummy treat and then tell me it has healthy benefits?  You had me at hello!
   In one article on Sciencedaily.com about the study conducted by Dr. John Finley, Ph.D at Louisiana State University, "explained that cocoa powder, an ingredient in chocolate, contains several polyphenolic, or antioxidant, compounds such as catechin and epicatechin, and a small amount of dietary fiber. Both components are poorly digested and absorbed, but when they reach the colon, the desirable microbes take over. "In our study we found that the fiber is fermented and the large polyphenolic polymers are metabolized to smaller molecules, which are more easily absorbed. These smaller polymers exhibit anti-inflammatory activity," he said.Finley also noted that combining the fiber in cocoa with prebiotics is likely to improve a person's overall health and help convert polyphenolics in the stomach into anti-inflammatory compounds. "When you ingest prebiotics, the beneficial gut microbial population increases and outcompetes any undesirable microbes in the gut, like those that cause stomach problems," he added. Prebiotics are carbohydrates found in foods like raw garlic and cooked whole wheat flour that humans can't digest but that good bacteria like to eat. This food for your gut's helpful inhabitants also comes in dietary supplements."
  Lord knows I get sick frequently, so, if chocolate will help my tummy....give me more! But, as I read I uncovered belly benefits is not where the benefits end.

  Information in the  mercola.com article Scientists Probe Dark Chocolate's Health Secrets from March 31, 2014 where they state there are actually quite a few health benefits!
"A wide range of accumulating scientific research has linked its consumption to over 40 distinct health benefits.8 While most of you have heard about the importance of antioxidants, a primer might help, beginning with the explanation that the formation of free radicals in your cells can damage your DNA to the point that your risk of developing diseases like Alzheimer’s, heart disease, and cancer are elevated.This is why the antioxidant polyphenols in chocolate are so valuable, as they have the ability to stop free radical-mediated oxidation. This helps to decrease your risk of those and other diseases by directly interfering with one of the major preventable causes of chronic degenerative diseases.Chocolate also contains other potent plant “chemicals,” including anandamide, named after the Sanskrit word for “bliss,” which is a neurotransmitter in the brain that temporarily blocks feelings of pain and anxiety. The caffeine and theobromine in chocolate have been shown to produce higher levels of physical energy and mental alertness, and there are likely many more healthy chocolate compounds that have yet to be discovered. The following table highlights just some of the benefits conferred by the cocoa bean."
♡Anti-inflammatory
♡Anti-carcinogenic
♡Anti-thrombotic, including improving endothelial function
♡Lowers Alzheimer's risk
♡Anti-diabetic and anti-obesity
♡Reduction in C-reactive protein
♡Cardioprotective, including lowering blood pressure, improving lipid profile, and helping prevent atrial fibrillation
♡Improved liver function for those with cirrhosis
♡NeuroprotectiveImproves gastrointestinal flora
♡Reduces stress hormones
♡Reduces symptoms of glaucoma and cataracts
♡Slows progression of periodontitis
♥Improves exercise endurance
♡May help extend lifespan
♡Protects against preeclampsia in pregnant women"

  Now, if heart health, brain function and a happy tummy are not enough for you.... how about for us self-centered individuals who are constantly admiring ourselves in the mirror? Youbeauty.com says that dark chocolate also has beauty benefits! Beauty Benefits of Dark Chocolate by Lisa Schweiter summarized Kristin Kirkpatrick, R.D., M.S., Wellness Manager for Cleveland Clinic's Lifestyle 180 program, and YouBeauty Nutrition Advisor's work..... "According to Kirkpatrick, dark chocolate relaxes blood vessels, which in turn reduces blood pressure. Several studies suggest that it may also be a feel-good treat that increases production of mood-enhancing neurotransmitters.Dark chocolate also helps combat beauty’s public enemy number one: Stress. Cocoa helps reduce stress hormones, which means less collagen breakdown in the skin, and fewerwrinkles.Flavonols (the type of flavonoid found in chocolate) help your skin look its best. Flavonols are antioxidants that help your skin protect itself from UV damage (hello, fewer wrinkles) fight free radicals (so long, sun spots) and increase blood flow (i.e. dewy glow!).In one study, flavonols in dark chocolate even improved skin hydration and thickness—both mega important for young-looking skin."

  Whatever your reason, I know I have mine. Purely for the health benefits, I SWEAR! LOL! Just keep in kind MODERATION! Too much of a good thing is still bad. Too much sugar, too processed, too high in fat, etc. Try to get as basic or organic as possible so you're not killing all the benefits. I plan on getting off my blog and enjoying a single Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate mini piece..... it fits into my insane diet pretty well. So, good evening and Enjoy!

Healthy Fats

  Fair warning, this is going to be brief tonight....
  I have been on a hunt to find foods I can eat that will increase my calorie intake but will follow my nutritional requirements so it does not make me sick. It has been one hell of a search! I am not fairing so well on this journey.
I keep trying though. Yet, despite the fact that I am frustrated and exhausted and ready to scream.... I keep searching.
  One thing I do know is I keep following an almost no fat, low sugar and high protein diet. It's made up mostly of fresh fruits and vegetables with protein shakes.  There are not many calories in that and I can't consume a lot at one time. So, now working on those alternative foods that I avoided until now. I promise I am not losing my mind but I have to add healthy fats to my daily routine. Yes, apparently fats can be healthy!
"Your body needs it in order to function," says Barbara Roberts, MD, director of the Women's Cardiac Center at the Miriam Hospital in Providence and author of How to Keep from Breaking Your Heart. "Fats help you absorb vitamins A, D, and E, and they are vital for your nervous system." It is explained in the article The Big Fat Truth: Why Non-Fat Isn't the Answer on fitnessmagazine.com, where the different types are broken down.
  Helpguide.org is a nonprofit website that also had a great resource called Choosing Healthy Fats that said it really well,  "The answer isn’t cutting out the fat—it’s learning to make healthy choices and to replace bad fats with good ones that promote health and well-being." I really like the portion that broke down cholesterol. After suffering from life threatening high blood pressure I know now that I was not properly educated on the changes I needed to make.  "Research shows that there is only a weak link between the amount of cholesterol you eat and your blood cholesterol levels. The biggest influence on your total and LDL cholesterol is the type of fats you eat—not your dietary cholesterol. So instead of counting cholesterol, simply focus on replacing bad fats with good fats.
●Monounsaturated fats lower total and bad (LDL) cholesterol levels, while increasing good cholesterol (HDL)
●Polyunsaturated fats lower triglycerides and fight inflammation
●Saturated fats may raise your blood cholesterol
●Trans fats are the worst types of fat since they not only raise your bad LDL cholesterol, but also lower the good HDL cholesterol"
  I have found some ridiculous information of theories in my research but one I choose to believe was on Good Morning America in their special 13 Things Experts Won't Tell You. I choose to believe it because though I have never ever craved chocolate before,  lately I have been wanting that creamy,  silky,  sweet substance to dance on ummy tastebuds.  LOL! Well, it says that daily doses of cocoa (low in sugar) can help from your waistline. If a sacrifice of eating chocolate is required to make myself shrink..... then I will be happy to do so!  Hehehe.
  Ooops, my apologies,  I have deviated from my original intention of talking about healthy fats. Fitday.com has an article Why You Should Eat Fat to Lose Weight that is brief but to the point  "While fats can aid your weight-loss plan, moderation is still key. At nine calories per gram, fat has more than double the energy of carbohydrates and protein, which contain just four calories per gram. Since weight loss ultimately boils down to calories in versus calories out, eating too many fatty foods can spell diet disaster. The smart way to lose weight is to pay attention to calories while eating whole, natural foods. Most women lose weight on about 1,500 calories per day, while men will lose weight eating about 2,000 calories per day--and you probably won't feel hungry with those numbers. Get your fats from plant sources, and cut out saturated and trans fats as much as possible. Just don't feel guilty about using a splash of olive oil in your stir-fry or snacking on a handful of almonds"
  While there were 20 other sites I found the I read through, I didn't list them all here. I wanted to keep this one simple tonight. Everyone is different so I am not about to go into details about quantities or what you should be doing.  I only suggest that you read. Several sites touched on the fact that obesity has skyrocketed about the same time we started increasing our consumption of "low fat" products. Some speculate it's because of the increased sugar and salt used to fill in for the lack of taste when the fat is removed.  I am not the expert but I am thinking of giving this a try.  I have nothing to lose at this point. So, I see a bunch of avocados and almonds in my near future.... and some Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate miniatures in the near future.  Sorry to disappoint, I am sticking with healthy.  No crap food, even in the attempt to increase my calories. Nope. 
  Now, off to search recipes and find my teenage daughter's chocolate stash.